Food is my drug of choice. It so easily could be smoking or alcohol. That my addiction is food probably has something to do with growing up in a super skinny family.
As recently as last month I couldn't admit to myself how out of control my eating was. I'd eat a good breakfast, a decent lunch and then have two servings of everything for dinner and snack through the evening until bedtime. After the satisfying rush of calories was over I'd feel out of kilter with my own conscience, wobbly like when the spin cycle goes off balance in the washer.
It's taken a long time to accept that I was powerless over food. As long as I was under it's influence I kept myself in the shadow of the life I could have. The light bulb went on when I was listening to Bob Greene's podcast with Oprah. [To find it, go to the iTunes Store, podcasts, and search 'Oprah health Greene'. The download is free.] I like Bob Greene because he's the only person I know who can tell Oprah she's wrong to her face. Also he talks a lot of sense.
He says in this podcast that when we put ourselves off ("Oh, I'll exercise tomorrow, there's no time now.") we break promises to ourselves, something we would never do if the promise were to someone else. Every time that happens we disrespect and dishonor ourselves, undermining our self-worth.
I made a promise last year to journal the food I ate on the Fresh Start page of this blog. I've failed miserably to keep that promise and that has hurt. Following my own advise I want to get beyond the 'failure', learn from it and make a new promise, one I can keep. Here's how:
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