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My Weight Loss Journey: The Dreaded Plateau!

Today I weighed myself to find I finally broke through the 140 pound Wall of Death. The digital read-out said "139.7" Yes, I realize that is only 3/10th of a pound below 140 but, dear God Almighty, I took it, held it close to my heart and did my happy Snoopy dance anyway!

This achievement is oh soooo sweet! For week after week I vacillated between 141 and 144. Many a weight loss ship is wrecked upon the rocks of the dreaded PLATEAU. Mine has always been at that five-pounds-left-to-go-before-goal phase. It happened many times, the latest a few years ago when I did Weight Watchers. I did fine until I was five pounds away from goal. Then I stopped losing and started gaining again.

It was so frustrating. Like climbing within ten feet of the summit of Mount Everest and turning back for no good reason.

The PLATEAU is generally attributed to biological stuff. Everyone knows that in order to lose weight the number of calories 'In' has to be less than the number of calories 'Out'. If you try to lose weight quickly by going on a super restrictive low calorie diet, the body/brain perceives a famine is going on out there. Result: It does what it needs to do to keep the metabolism from burning the few calories that are coming in. Thus a plateau.

The number one way to avoid a plateau is not lose weight so fast in the first place. Forget The Biggest Loser. Double digit a week weight loss is for idiots! Healthy, permanent, weight loss is no more than two pounds a week (doctor's orders). In order to make my weight loss journey the last one I ever have to take, I decided on targeting one pound a week, and I was happy I did, until the PLATEAU!

If I was losing weight super slowly why was I stalled? If my plateau wasn't biological, could it be psychological?

Losing Weight By Saying YES!

"It's not what I'm saying NO to, it's what I'm saying YES to by saying NO."

I have permanently lost 17 pounds since last June when I reached a peak of 160 (I'm 5' 3"). Losing that weight could not have happened unless I had a deep cognitive and spiritual change in my attitude toward discipline.

Discipline is defined by my dictionary four ways:

1. training to act in accordance with rules
2. behavior in accord with rules of conduct
3. branch of learning
4. punishment

Three out of four of those definitions make me feel as confined as Cool Hand Luke in 'The Box', especially that last one.

Naturally I convinced myself that dieting was punishment because I couldn't lose weight without the 'discipline' not to eat over a set calorie count. Every time I tried to resist the brownie, the rebellious little kid in me fought back and the tired, punished adult gave in.

In June, I started working with Janice Taylor and she helped me see discipline in a new way. Not just 'see' it, because I had tried the 'Love Yourself Thin' approach before. It just never stuck. Janice helped me dismantle some seriously dysfunctional core beliefs about discipline that were literally weighing me down. Core beliefs like, "You are not good enough, no matter what you do to pretend otherwise." In the process of taking that core belief apart, I learned why, as I tried to do the right thing by not eating the brownie, all I was left with was a hollow, deprived feeling inside.

Horses Help Heal Our Wounded Warriors

Thanks to Mac, my friend on Facebook, I learned about this wonderful program that uses Equine Assisted Therapy to help veterans with PTSD.

Suze Maze, a licensed clinical social worker, offers this program for soldiers stationed at Fort Gordon, Georgia in the Warriors in Transition Program. 

"I've always wanted to come back and work with the military...Equine Rescue of Aiken [South Carolina] is a perfect match. We have horses who need healing and we have soldiers and people who need healing."

She goes on to describe the special power horses have...

"...they all have their own style of therapy that they like to work with. One horse likes to work with people who have Attention Deficit Disorder, another works with those who have mental challenges; [the horses] migrate toward them. I worked with civilians in Kentucky. We have a conscious mind, things that we're aware of, and we have [the] sub-conscious and unconscious. The horses seem to be able to get at that innate sub-conscious...things the person being treated may not recognize. It makes people think outside the box to come up with their own solutions."

Suze Maze has what it takes to be a qualified equine therapist. On her Facebook profile page, she says, "After a forced retirement from riding racehorses for 20+ years, then pursuit of a professional career as a licensed clinical social worker, I am now able to combine them both with Equine Assisted Psychotherapy."

Anyone wanting to learn more about this particular program could contact Suze directly at Operation Open Arms. You can get more information about other Equine Assisted Therapy programs at the Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association website (EAGALA). They have programs around the world.

A Message From My Weight Loss Journey

My goal was to prove that I, a 56 year-old woman, could lose weight and maintain a healthy level of fitness without spending a ton of money on a gimmick, pills, pre-packaged food, extreme diets or (shudder!) surgery.

After years of searching, a few months ago, around mid June 2010, I finally found a healthy lifestyle that works for me. Maybe it would work for you, too.

I love the Mediterranean diet. Not a diet, but more like a way of eating that suits my entire family. The Mediterranean diet is full of juicy, colorful fruits and vegetables. I also use Michael Pollan's Food Rules as an eating guide. In this little book is the wisdom of a thousand grandmothers and the findings of laboratories full of scientists. Also, my husband and I meal plan and grocery shop together which helps a ton! 

For food and calorie journalling I use the Lose It! app on my iPod Touch. It's free. I love, love, LOVE that little app! As my daughter would say, I want to marry it, I love this app so much! Lose It (check it out on Facebook) makes counting calories super easy, so easy there is no excuse to cheat, none, and that makes a world of difference.

For exercise I do what I love, whatever feels good on that particular day. My favorites are yoga, run/walking on my treadmill and horseback riding. For you it might be gardening, bike riding, tennis, golf, walking the dog, it doesn't matter. What matters is movement every day. Choose activities you love. It will keep you young.

Finally, I, a psychologist, am learning that my mind can be devious and I need to keep an eye on its tricks that keep me lazy and overweight. To help me with this process I faithfully follow Our Lady of Weight Loss, Janice Taylor, and others who advocate mindful eating and loving yourself thin. I've always been an advocate of using the carrot rather than the stick to influence behavior. It just took a freaking village to get me to apply this loving, creative, divine philosophy to my own weight loss journey.

It is a journey – never ending, forever challenging. And that's a good thing! Now that I'm on this path the weight is coming off and I am in awe.

See more on My Weight Loss Journey page. Your comments are most welcome! 

Losing Weight & Body Hate

Do you ever have 'fat' days? I know, I know... Is the Pope Catholic?

Yesterday I felt fat. My mind was convinced I had gained back every single pound I lost over the last three months. It took effort to talk back to my mind. I said, "Mind, that's impossible. Even if you gained a few pounds since Sunday, it's nothing. You really did lose that weight and you have been eating responsibly. Cut it out!"

This morning I did something I usually resist doing. I weighed myself. I decided it was better to just know what I was dealing with. The scale said 145.0, down half a pound since Sunday. Was I happy? Hell, no! I got off and back on three times, convinced my scale was blatantly lying to me! I was actually looking for a higher number! Who does that?

Clearly that strategy didn't work. I should have known better. Living and dying by the scale, not a good idea. I still feel big. Is it the heat? We don't have air conditioning and there's another heat wave going on. Is it a matter of saying goodbye to the weight lost? Why am I 'holding on" to it? Am I afraid? I thought I was done with that. Hmmm.

There is a degree of self-criticism going on here. I've always been an ectomorph (I think that's the right term.) My body resembles a rectangle, small breasts, flat butt, thick waist. In a better mood I would say it's an athletic body, good for throwing javelins, riding horses. When I'm overweight the rectangle just gets bigger all over, which I'm told is a good way to gain weight. The ectomorph hides extra pounds well.

Now that I've lost weight the opposite seems to be true as well. My body hides the weight loss too. Well, that stinks. I was hoping I'd morph into Audrey Hepburn and instead I still look more like a tree trunk.

OK, that is enough! Somehow I got sucked into hating my body again (probably from reading too many fashion magazines. Damn you, September Vogue! How you tempt me!) and even I know that is so unhealthy! My body has gotten me through thick and thin. (Arg! I didn't just say that...)

What I mean to say is... My body is my friend, my dear, dear friend. It has been through emotional wars with me, fought the battles of illness, death and hardship. It has also given me joy through communicating to me the gifts of the universe through my senses. It made my children, for God's sake! I love my body, no matter what size it is in.

There. That's a much better place to be. Now that that insanity is over, I think I'll go take my body for a much deserved mani-pedi! Care to join me?

Chronic Illness Before the Diagnosis: What to do When You Hear "It's All In Your Head."

By Dr. Aletta

I read somewhere that properly diagnosing chronic illness can take from two to three years. Many of you wait even longer. In the meantime, while the doctors scratch their heads, we're expected to be happy we're alive. And that's if they don't write us off with "It's psychological."

It took a year and three doctors before I was diagnosed with scleroderma. Just remembering what I went through during that year-from-hell gets my blood boiling and I was one of the lucky ones.

If you are experiencing symptoms but don't have a diagnosis yet, here are some tips that I hope will help you get through this trying time a little easier.

Trust yourself. You are not crazy. Physicians have referred many people to me before they had a diagnosis, even doctors who don't know what else to do for their patients. ALL of them eventually received a medical diagnosis. That's right. ALL OF THEM.

Maybe I see a skewed sample of the general population but I don't think so. Medicine is slowly catching up to the experience of hundreds of thousands of people reporting symptoms for which there is no hard, "objective" test. They should be believed. Even the Veterans' Administration has come to recognize that when a combat veteran says he is suffering from PTSD, he is not faking. We do not want to be sick and it just pours salt in the wound when anyone suggests we are making this stuff up.

A Healthy Mind in a Healthy Body

It's been a LONG time since I've written about my weight struggle. That's because there hasn't been much of a fight to report. For a while there I surrendered to my impulses for whatever I craved. Plus I wasn't getting up early to exercise (and if exercise doesn't happen in the morning, forget it). The result? No surprise. The skinny jeans are back on the shelf and I reach for stuff with elastic waists. You have no idea how hard it is to admit that.

It would be easy to blame the dark mid-winter, lack of Vitamin D, stress at work or family demands. But really, there are no excuses. I eat as a reward and as a punishment. I know what I need to do but I sabotage my efforts gladly for the rush of immediate gratification. That's the life of a food addict.

My path to this place was part Nature: While everyone else in my family got the skinny genes (no pun intended, haha), my grandmother's pudginess skipped a generation and landed squarely on my belly.

And part Nurture: It didn't help that my stick thin Mom constantly asked me if I wanted her "help" to lose weight. "Are you going to eat that?" is a refrain that haunts me like the Jaws theme does an ocean swimmer.

But frankly today it doesn't wash because I am A GROWN-UP! A grown up who needs constant reminding that I have the responsibility to make good choices. I eschew (love that word. Notice it has 'chew' in it) I es-CHEW diets. Been there, done that a million times a la Oprah. The high of initial success is inevitably followed by the depression of defeat. Sorry but my self-esteem just says no!

It was my son who got me back on track again. He asked me (yes, I have a teenager who actually wants to know what I think! It's a miracle!) what ideas I had to help him study for the SATs. Without thinking I told him to start exercising regularly. I recited all the brain benefits of exercise (scientifically proven, thank you very much) and how years ago, I ran three miles a day while I was studying for my licensing boards. It helped so much. He said thanks and immediately started running as soon as he got home from school.

Well, gee whiz. As a mom, how do you think I felt giving out advice I wasn't following myself? Answer: Like a bit of a jerk.

10 Ways To Tell Problem Drinking From Alcoholism

 It's New Year's Eve and many people are making resolutions. For a lot of us our resolutions are all about becoming healthier: exercising more, eating better and once and for all giving up smoking or drinking too much.

Yesterday's post defined what tips a social drinker over into the realm of problem drinking.

...the line between social drinking and problem drinking can be very thin.

The line between problem drinking and alcoholism is thinner still.

As you've probably heard before, no one starts out drinking or smoking to become addicted. We all have this incredible ability to deny the reality: That it can happen to us.

Alcohol abuse, or problem drinking, is basically unhealthy or dangerous drinking, such as drinking every day or drinking too much at a time. Problem drinking can destroy your relationships, cause you to miss work, risk getting fired and lead to legal problems like getting pulled over by the cops for a DUI. When you abuse alcohol, you continue to drink even though you know it's causing problems.

If you continue to abuse alcohol, it can, and very likely will, lead to alcohol dependence. Alcohol dependence is alcoholism. You are physically and/or mentally addicted to the alcohol. Your body needs it to function. You experience this by having a strong need to drink. You feel like you must drink just to get by.

According to the experts, you are dependent on alcohol if you have three or more of the following problems:

10 Ways to Bring Christmas Cheer to Your Loved One In the Hospital for the Holidays

Disease and trauma do not take a holiday. Many of us have loved ones in the hospital for all kinds of reasons. We want to do what we can for our children, brothers, sisters, friends, who find themselves in strange surroundings during this supposedly most  joyous of times.

Fifteen years ago, a few weeks before Christmas, I was suddenly admitted to Women and Children's Hospital.

I was five months pregnant with my daughter and I was very sick. With my history of kidney disease and scleroderma, I chose a maternal-fetus specialist to be my OB-GYN. Trained in situations like mine, where the mother has chronic illness which makes the pregnancy high risk, I had every faith in Dr. Margaret McDonnell. My first pregnancy had gone off without so much as a cold. This time Margaret said,

"You have to be ready for this baby to come early."

What was she saying? "Margaret, you're scaring me."

"We'll keep you in the hospital. The longer the baby stays in you the better."

The doctors didn't know what was causing the problem. It could be my kidneys shutting down or preeclampsia, a condition that is dangerous if not treated. If caught in time it clears up once the baby is born. 

All we could do was wait and hope our baby would just settle down and stay put.

I was ordered to complete bed rest. After over two weeks of not being allowed to get up even to pee, I was scared, depressed and a little crazy. My two year old son wasn't allowed on the floor. I missed him with a pain I can't describe. And it was Christmas time.

Friends and family helped my husband and I keep it together. My daughter was born a few days after Christmas. She was one pound thirteen ounces and was able to breathe on her own. The doctors assured us she was strong.

Two days later my symptoms cleared up and I was discharged. My daughter came home three months later.

Hospitals and the medical staff are sensitive to the holidays but they have jobs to do and shouldn't be expected to provide holiday cheer. Family and friends can make a huge difference, however, so I collected ten suggestions for those of you who may have a loved one in the hospital this season:

When My Inner Child Behaves Like a Brat

Lately I've been asking myself why the therapist isn't following her own advise. It's so easy to tell people to exercise a little every day, to stay away from sweets and alcohol, to get eight hours of sleep a night. Too easy.

So much harder to actually do it myself. Lately when I wake up, instead of doing my usual prayer of gratitude for the new day, I moan, "Why did you eat those cookies, that pie, those potatoes!"  I whine, "Do I really have to exercise? It's so cold!"  I kvetch, "You stayed up too late watching TV!"  I could blame the lack of sunshine, the busy schedule, the fact that I'm middle aged. It doesn't matter. It's got to stop or at least slow down or I will end up looking like Jabba the Hut in no time.

Remember when I got into my skinny jeans? Well, forget that!

Counting calories? Still a good idea but am I doing it? Uh....

David Rock, Are Our Minds Going the Way of Our Waists, apparently thinks the reason I have so much trouble with regulating my eating is that there is so much temptation in my face all the time and the part of my brain that provides restraint is puny. I don't doubt it.

How could the therapist help herself? There is a concept that seems to resonate when I'm counseling people.  When we have trouble doing the right thing for ourselves consider this simple idea: 

In theory our psyches are made up of three entities, the Child, the Parent and the Adult. Transactional analysis, a humanistic school of psychology, used these terms.  Sigmund Freud identified these constructs as the Id, the Superego and the Ego respectively. We get out of whack (scientific term for neurotic) when either the Child or the Parent stomps all over the Adult.

Like when I see a brownie. The child in me jumps up and down and demands the brownie now!  The adult might say, "You know, eating the brownie is contrary to your goal of losing weight. No brownie. Eat an apple instead!" The Parent is silent. At least it is until I've ignored the Adult, given in to the Child and gobbled down the brownie. Then it yells, "What is wrong with you! Don't you feel bad? Well, you should!"